BIGGER THAN YESTERDAY

I know

Papa,

I know so many things it is totally crazy. I know what I am going to be when I grow up. I know who I am going to marry. I know where I am going to college. I know what kind of jeans I am going to wear when I am 15. I know what kind of music I am going to be into, and what instrument is going to come to me like second nature. I know who my best friend is going to be in 7th grade. I know who the next three presidents are. I know what happens in the next chapter. I know where this road leads to. I know how to start three things at once. I know the difference between real and fake. I know what happens to all the fish in the world. I know what my first car will look like. I know how to get to the front of a crowd. I know how to lay really still. I know what smells good. I know how to charm the pants off of anyone. I know how to fake laugh and real cry. I know what other people see in me. I know how to make it so I like it. I know what I need to do. I know when I need to sleep. I know when I am done eating. I know when enough is enough. I know we are all going to be just fine. I wish I could tell you all the things I know, but you have to trust me. It is all looking good from here.

Love,

Jackson

Don’t Name Your Dog Jackson

Got this email from my mother tonight:   “The other night someone told me that their son had a dog named Jackson.  It infuriated me..I told them to change it..that Jackson would some day be president, and no one was calling their dog Barack!”

So close and yet so far away

Obsessed with the pouring of yellow leaves everywhere.   Jackson
is packed up daily and left in the woods, in a neighbor’s blanketed
yard, on our swing while get as far away as I can and still see him.
Channeling the ground glass of Harry Callahan.   Feel like the far away
ones are more about me, and the closeup ones are more about Jackson.
Or..maybe they are all about us.  The last week we have gotten the good
deep smell of fall in our lungs, the taste of wet leaves on our tongues,
and a slew of new pictures to look at as the trees get naked.

Little Windows

There are these tiny little windows I get to photograph Jackson in.   Drizzling, about to rain.   Autumn leaves about to freeze under snow.  4 teeth becoming 6.  Crawling about to walk.  Looking up about to look away.  Steady about to slip. Always singing loudly.  Careful to avoid big heavy cameras swinging off of shoulders.