I wake up in the middle of the night. Silence in the left ear. Silence in the right. Both boys are asleep in their rooms. Stephie is crashed between feedings. Blink my eyes quickly at the clock, 2:01 glows blue in my eyelids. There is one spot on my back that itches just out of reach. Put an earbud in one ear. Listen to the BBC describing floods in Australia. Terrible floods! My mind cannot sleep. I go downstairs and start writing this. Then I hear Jackson wake up crying. I run upstairs. Go in and lay with him for awhile. He snuggles so close - he must think if he nuzzles his head into my neck, and his arm over my chest I won’t be able to sneak away. Listen to Jackson’s breathing right by my ear and tried to imagine his dreams for a long time. Bliss…..