Dear Jackson - Mother's Day

2010.04.18_331


Dear Jackson,

I want to write to you about Mother's Day. I know it seems like Mother's Day is about pancakes and extra hugs and kisses - and that is a big part of it. It is also the day we get to think about all the love mommies give to all of us. It is the day we get give extra love back.

Jackson, your mommy and I grew up with the most loving mommies. Now our mommies love you even more - and that is ALOT. My mommy "A", and your Mommy's mommy "Gigi" are very very special mommies. Really special mommies create a place where you can feel safe and free. Really sensitive mommies listen and help us solve our problems rather than telling us what to do. Really understanding mommies know that in order to be happy you need to be sad once in awhile, to be successful you have to fail, to be creative you have to dream. Gigi and A surrounded your mommy and I with so much love, that when we first met we didn't feel like strangers at all.

Jackson I remember the very second your mommy became a mommy. I was holding your mommy so tight and watching you slide into this world through tears of such joy. The first thing I remember is how happy I was that you were fully assembled. All your fingers, all your toes, your nose...everything was attached and in the right place. That was both shocking and a huge comfort. I was then so aware that from your first breath you had a real personality. You were suddenly a real person, not a dream hiding in mommy's belly. But Jackson, in that very same moment I saw our Stephie become a mommy....and I cannot tell you how happy that made me. Everything changes in that moment. I got to see all these new parts of your mommy come to life. She became so strong and so gentle at the same time. Her voice was so patient, and kind and loving - even in the middle of the night....especially in the middle of the night. Jackson, your mommy is the most selfless, sweet, kind, generous mommy. Jackson, the most amazing part of you seeing your grow, is seeing your mommy grow with you.

Jackson, being a mommy is not always super easy. Sometimes you are not happy or have a cold. Sometimes things are scary or sad or make no sense. Sometimes there are a dozen fires burning at once and two dozen plates spinning in the air.  It is in the craziest moments that your mommy really flexes her mommy muscles and teaches us all about how big a heart can be.

Jackson maybe love has a personality, the way you were born with a personality from your first breath. Maybe love is like that. Maybe Jackson, maybe. With each birth, the earth is full of that much more love. It is our job, as a mommy (and a daddy) to see and feel and discover all that new love in the world that you (and every baby) unlock in us.   Jackson, sometimes I feel like I should have known this a long time ago.  Somehow I couldn't understand this love, I couldn't feel this love, maybe....I couldn't even imagine this love.   You teach me about love everyday Jackson. Right by your side your mommy does, too.

Jackson I guess you know this by now or are busy figuring it out -but the answer to everything is love. The more love you can feel the happier you are. The more love you feel the easier it is to understand how we are all connected by love.   Jackson, alot of people are afraid of love, can't find love, look way beyond the love sitting on their own nose everyday.  All you need to do is open your arms.  All you need to do is look at your mommy.  She is the most loving person I have ever met.  We are both so lucky to be with her.

And while we are talking about your mommy, I want to say one thing about kisses. Jackson,  I mean it every single time I kiss your mommy and you.  Even when we are just waking up before we brush our teeth.   Even when we are running out in a hurry.   Jackson every single kiss is important.  Every single kiss means that we love each other.  Not one kiss is for decoration. Not one kiss was made to say anything else.  Even when I finish this letter to you and go upstairs, and kiss mommy while she is sleeping.

Jackson.

Same goes for hugs.

Love,

Daddy



2010.03.21_050