Don’t Blink

A thousand birds descended on the backyard in a heartbeat, and disappeared just as fast. I blinked and they were gone. It is 5AM and Asher is restless. I run a bath and we both slip in with the very beginning of new day illuminating the tub. I hold Asher’s head and watch his body float. He is quiet, suspended, warm. He looks for the longest time into my eyes. Helpless but not weak. Taking it all in, but not a sound besides our breathing.

The first time I ever went to the theater was to see, “The Music Man” at the Stanley in Pittsburgh. The story my mother tells is that I slept through the whole thing after the overture. I don’t remember… This past Saturday we took Jackson to a theater for the first time. It was the Wellmont in Montclair to see Dan Zanes. We were alittle bit late, and when we walked in, Dan began singing, “Well’s Fargo Wagon” from The Music Man. I think Jackson liked the popcorn more than the music, but the next day at home he was asking me to put on Dan Zanes and he was singing along. There was alot of Pete Seeger in Dan, which made me happy. It was packaged as a party, Dan’s costume was extreme orange – but alot of what I remember about Pete concerts from growing up was there on stage.

My life is so full now. Much more than I could ever imagine. Much more than I can possibly take in. If I close my eyes to remember the bath, the concert, Jackson’s hand rubbing against my chin to wake me up – I have to open them again quickly to not miss anything. If I blink the birds are gone.